


Mr. Hammer

by greeneyed



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drama competition, M/M, Rating May Change, Rating will change, Teacher-Student Relationship, Who Am I Kidding?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-05-31 12:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19425724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneyed/pseuds/greeneyed
Summary: Mr. Hammer, the new English teacher, volunteers to take three students to a drama competition in NYC for the weekend.(Not so) loosely based on 'Miss Stevens'.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First, I have NO idea what I'm doing here. I was rewatching 'Miss Stevens' and this idea just popped into my head and... here it is.
> 
> Second, this is a work in progress and my muse is very capricious these days so no promises on updates. I will do my best, though.
> 
> Third, it's been a while since I wrote anything so it might be shit. Sorry.
> 
> Un-beta'ed. All mistakes are mine.

“You really shouldn’t be sitting on those steps, Timmy.”

“And you really should mind your own business, Lil.”

“I’ve told you a million times. It’s Lil **i** !”

“Okay, Lil.”

“ Timothée!”

“Guys!” Anthony chimes in with an exaggerated eye roll. “If you’re gonna be like this the entire weekend, I’m not going.”

They all exchange looks of different level of annoyance, but the bickering stops. 

The doors fly open and Tim jumps to his feet. 

“Good morning!” Mr. Hammer approaches them with that fixed smile on his face that, as Timmy has learned by now, never reaches his eyes. 

“Can it be just ‘morning’?” Anthony yawns loudly. “I didn’t get to have my coffee.” 

His eyes land on the travel mug in the man’s hand.

“Too bad for you.” Mr. Hammer shrugs and takes a big sip, smacking his lips with gusto. The gesture should look weird coming from a teacher, but somehow it doesn’t. 

_ ‘How is everything he does is so cool?’ Tim thinks.  _

Tim liked him from the moment he entered the classroom on the first day of school three months ago, which was really odd as Tim very rarely liked people in general. There was something about Mr. Hammer, though, something enticing, something that made Tim actually do his homework for once and make an effort in class. 

  
  


“Thank you again for doing it, Mr. Hammer.” Lili announces from the backseat once their seatbelts are on. “This means so much for us, right guys?”

_ ‘Is she generally annoying or is it just me?’ Tim wonders. _

“It’s not a big deal, Lili.” Mr. Hammer surely sounds like he means it. “I’m your English teacher and I know that your previous teacher was supposed to take you to the competition so it kinda makes sense. Plus, I didn’t have plans for the weekend so…”

“Our previous English teacher was also the head of the drama club and if you’re interested…” The girl stutters under Timmy’s cold look in the rearview mirror. “I mean, our school is kinda focused on sports but there are a lot of kids who would love to join a drama club, I’m sure of it. If only you were interested in taking over it…”

“Lili!” Tim’s voice thunders in the confined space of the car and they can literally hear her mouth shutting. He never uses her full name unless she pisses him off, so she knows she’s overstepped. 

“Thank you, Lili, for your offer.” Mr. Hammer gives her an apologetic smile. “But I’m still quite new in your school and I don’t think it would be right…”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” she cuts in, “everybody already loves you.” 

Mr. Hammer frowns so hard, his eyebrows nearly meet in the middle.

“I mean, everybody’s gushing about you.” It looks like Lili just doesn’t know when to stop or how. “We don’t know much about you, though. Nothing, to be precise. Like, we don’t even know how old you are.Tony says you might be about 30, but to me you don’t look…”

“I’m 27.” 

“I told you!” She nudges Anthony, who looks completely out of it. 

“Can we listen to some music?” Tim offers. He physically can’t keep listening to Lili’s crap without losing it.

“Sure.” Mr. Hammer smiles and Tim notices it’s a sincere smile, something the older man is not very generous with. “What kind of road trip is this if there’s no music?”

  
  


The moment the music starts playing, Tim’s eyes go so big they might just pop out of their sockets.

“Is that..?”

“Yeah…” The teacher shrugs apologetically. “I should probably switch…”

“No!” Tim yelps. “No, leave it!”

“Um, okay.”

“It’s just…” Tim starts. “I didn’t expect you to listen to something like that.”

“Well, I love it.” Mr. Hammer mutters, like it’s something embarrassing to confess.

“Me too. He’s one of my all-time favourites.”

“Who is this?” Lili intervenes, of course, cause it’s probably been too long since she said anything. 

“ _ This  _ is Frank Ocean.” Tim’s voice rings with annoyance - but it’s not edgy - the music never ceases to work its magic for him. “Oooh, I love this part.”

_ You showed me love _

_ Glory from above _

_ Where God could fear _

_ It’s all downhill from here _

Tim sings and, corner of his eye, he sees Mr. Hammer lip sync all the lyrics, and an unexpected, inexplicable warmth spreads all over his body.

  
  
  


“Oh, sweetie, you’re just wasting your time.” Anthony sighs.

“Huh?”

“That girl, she’s been flirting with Mr. Hammer for nearly ten minutes.”

He nods toward the car where a short blond is giggling next to their teacher. His face, however, stays bland throughout the conversation while the girl is jumping through hoops to make him laugh or something. 

“What makes you think she’s wasting her time exactly?” 

“I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”

“What?” Tim chokes. 

“Or bi, but with a preference for men.” Anthony says it like it’s the most obvious thing.

“Why on Earth would you think he’s gay?” 

“I’ve got a pretty good gaydar, never failed me before. And it says that there’s no way this girl is getting his number.”

“How does it work, this gaydar of yours?” Tim says with a smirk, but there’s a genuine curiosity to it.

“Well…” Anthony contemplates it for a moment, “when you look at me, for example, everything about me screams gay to you, right? You don’t even have to ask, you just know it.” 

Tim shrugs, not sure if he should confirm that, if Anthony wants it confirmed. 

“It’s the same for me with Mr. Hammer. When I look at him, I can’t help but see a rainbow painted all over him.”

“You may be wrong, you know?”

“Of course, I know that. But so what?”

_ ‘Right.’ Tim thinks. ‘So what?’ _

Just as Anthony starts getting on his feet, Tim utters.

“What do you see when you look at me?”

Anthony sighs, examining his schoolmate’s face closely.

“Do you want an honest answer or..?”

‘ _Do I?’_ _Tim swallows._ Then nods. 

“What I see is a guy who knows perfectly well that the girl, who’s riding in the car with us, is probably the only one in our year who’s not in love with our new English teacher just because she already has feelings for someone else. And he knows perfectly well that this whole trip has been arranged by none other than this very girl and he knows why. Still he’s being a deliberate ass to her probably because he doesn’t know how to let her down easy. And it’s alright to not like her back, it is. It’s okay to feel whatever it is that you feel and want whatever it is that you want, or not want in this case. Just go easy with the ‘asshole’ act.”

That’s not what Tim expected to hear. Now he feels like an idiot and wonders if everyone at school knows why he’s always so rude to Lili. Wonders if she knows, too.

“Do you know what else I see?” The boy stares him right in the eye. “I see someone who’s so deep into his insecurities that he just can’t see how talented he is. I see a guy who’s got everything to make it out there, to shine bright like a true star. If only he could believe in himself.”

“Maybe I just need somebody to believe in me first.” The words are barely audible. He knows he sounds silly and childish, but he can’t help it. 

“Don’t we all?” Anthony shrugs.

“So, how was it?” Lili exhales, a nervous smile on her face.

“Exhausting.” Tim mumbles under his breath. He’s been good for the past half an hour but his patience is wearing thin.

“Good.” Mr. Hammer clears his throat with a reproachful look at Tim’s side. “It was good.”

“Just like the previous two times.” Tim states with slight irritation and the older man actually shoves him with an elbow.

“Practice makes perfect.” Lili says indignantly, though she’s visibly hurt by Tim’s comments. “So I practice. You should try too. We haven’t got to hear your monologue yet.”

“No, thank you. That’s not how I do it.”

“What do you mean ‘that’s not how you do it’?” The girl now sounds thoroughly offended.

“Um, I don’t like repeating my monologue for fear it might lose its meaning. As in, when you repeat the same word twenty times in a row it stops making sense, you know? But to each his own, right? You should do whatever works for you.”

Lili does not read her monologue again. In fact, she doesn’t say a word until they reach the hotel, and it should feel like a victory for Tim. Somehow, it doesn’t, because what true victory comes with a bitter aftertaste?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?   
> Yes, it took me 7 months to write another chapter (no, it didn't) but better late than never, right?
> 
> I feel ready to continue the story and hope someone's still interested...
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

“Again. On behalf of the three of us and the entire  James Hillhouse High School, I want to thank you, Mr Hammer, for volunteering to be our chaperone on this trip. If you had said ‘no’, we would not have been here now.”

Anthony raises his orange juice and clinks Mr. Hammer’s glass. 

“What she said.” He smiles at the teacher. “But with much less pomp.”

Mr. Hammer laughs and looks at Timmy, who just shrugs uncertainly. 

“No thank-you speech from you?” He cocks an eyebrow, smug smile on his face.

“I’m just not good with words, I guess.” Tim shrugs again and sinks into his chair.

“That’s not what I’d say, judging by your latest test. And the previous too, and the one before that.”

Mr. Hammer gives Tim an incredulous look and Tim feels himself flush in an instant. 

_ Not now, he thinks. I can’t be weird now, with Lili and Anthony around.  _

“It’s funny actually,” Lili chimes in, totally oblivious to Tim’s predicament, “cause the previous teacher used to say that Tim was like constantly out of it.”

“Huh?” Mr. Hammer blinks in surprise, shifting his attention from Lili to Timmy and back.

“Yeah. She used to have nicknames for all of us. Like, mine was ‘The one who always has an answer’. And Tony’s was… Actually, what was yours?”

“The one who loves pink more than she does.” Anthony states proudly and Lili snorts. 

“So what was Timmy’s?” 

Tim rolls his eyes overdramatically as Lili and Anthony speak in unison: “The one who’s always catching up.”

“Really?” Mr. Hammer laughs heartily and Tim would probably appreciate it if he weren’t the one badgered. 

“Although, the one about pink suits him too.” Anthony ruffles his short curls and Tim swats his hand. 

“So I’m guessing the books are more to your taste this year?” The teacher says without a hint of a mocking amusement. 

“Probably.”

They all expect Tim to say something else, and when nothing comes, Anthony and Mr. Hammer switch to their plates. Lili, however, can’t just let it go. Naturally.

“You’re unusually quiet today. Are you okay? Is something bothering you?”

“I’m fine.” Tim mumbles, picking at the pasta on his plate. 

“But you’re not! I can totally tell. If you’re nervous, you can talk to us. And if it’s something else, we could…”

“I said I’m fine, Lili!”

And again, saying her full name does the trick. She backs down immediately and hides behind a glass of water.

“So, Mr. Hammer.” Anthony, always to the rescue, folds his hands and smiles sweetly. “Tell us about yourself. Where are you from? What brought you to New Haven?”

“Do I really have to talk about myself?” The teacher groans continuously, but Tim can tell there’s true anxiety behind his act.

“Well, it’s not like you  **have** to.” Anthony combines his signature eye roll with a dramatic sigh. “But you were the one who said that this trip is a good way to connect with people.”

“I meant a good way for you to connect with other students.”

“And what if we want to connect with you?” 

Tim has a feeling of a quick side-eye from Anthony, but maybe it’s just his imagination. 

“Fine.” Mr. Hammer throws his hands up in defense. “I was born here, in New Haven, but after graduation I moved to New York.”

“You lived in New York?” Tim’s head turns so fast they all hear a crack in his neck. Lili winces but keeps her mouth shut. Miraculously. 

“I have.” The teacher nods with a tiny smile. “For 8 years.”

_ It’s a happy smile, Tim thinks. He was happy there.  _

“Why did you come back here?” Lili’s the one to ask the question, of course. 

“Personal matters.” Mr. Hammer takes a sip of his wine and it’s clear as day that he does not want to delve into it. 

Still Tim throws Lili a warning look. Just in case. 

“What did you do in New York?” Anthony just ignores his schoolmates’ beef, like an experienced parent of two constantly feuding kids, and maintains the conversation as if Mr. Hammer were not his teacher but an old friend.

“I went to NYU, studied drama. Did a couple of off-Broadway plays at the time. Loved every single moment of it. Then life happened and I switched to teaching drama instead.”

_ I had a feeling, Tim thinks, that we were alike. And there it is. He’s a New Yorker. An actor. Everything I ever wanted to be.  _

He literally has to dig his nails into his palms to stop himself from hugging his teacher.

“And now you teach English.” Anthony states with amusement. “In High School.”

“Like I said,” Mr. Hammer simply shrugs. “Life happened.”

“If I ever leave New Haven I am never coming back.” Anthony sighs pensively.

“Why would you leave New Haven?” Lili stares at him without blinking. 

“Why not?” 

“This is home, this is where your friends and family are. Why leave?” She rattles, eyes even bigger than usual, in confusion.

“Where would you go?” Mr. Hammer chimes in, genuinely interested. 

“California. I mean, East Coast is great and everything but I can hear LA calling my name.” Anthony flashes his best red-carpet smile, followed by a wink, and the teacher laughs. 

“I think I can hear it too,” he says. And Tim wants to hug him even more. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever want to be somewhere else.” Lili mutters uncertainly. “Like, this is home, this is where I was born. I want to spend my life where I was born. This is important to me.” 

_ At least we have  _ **_that_ ** _ in common,Tim sighs. _

“It’s okay to want what you want, Lili.” Mr. Hammer suggests softly. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“Oh, please…” Anthony groans. “Don’t give the speech. You’re the only teacher who doesn’t give speeches, and we love you for that. Don’t ruin it.”

“Okay, I won’t.” Mr. Hammer grins. “I don’t feel old enough to give you speeches anyway.”

“Do you feel old enough to teach us?” The words come out of Lili’s mouth before she realizes what she’s said. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just thinking that you are not much older and it must be hard for you to find your way around us. Like, you don’t want to seem patronizing. But you also don’t want to be too familiar. Like, you need to find that fine line… And it’s not an easy task, especially for someone so young…”

As Tim’s on the verge of snapping Lili’s neck, Mr. Hammer remains calm through her erratic monologue.

_ Why do you let her talk to you like that? You shouldn’t let anyone talk to you like that.  _

“I know what you mean.” Mr. Hammer nods and Tim nearly howls in despair. “And yes, I do feel like I’m not old enough, wise enough, distant enough sometimes. But it’s school. You’re learning. I’m learning. It only works that way.”

Later in the evening they all meet at the gym converted into a dance hall. While Lili and Anthony are looking for the light to take selfies Tim takes a good look at his teacher, who’s, in his turn, busy taking in the surroundings, and Tim can’t help but notice that they match. They are wearing dark jeans, Mr. Hammer is in a white shirt with sleeves rolled up, Tim is in a casual t-shirt, white as well, both glowing in ultraviolet lights. 

“Well, have fun, guys.” Mr. Hammer smiles and heads towards the drink station.

In the darkness his teeth glow too.

The entire night Tim watches his teacher like a hawk and there are new things about the man that he notes. Mr. Hammer, who looks overwhelming, intimidating even, is unmistakably shy. He’s willing to participate in a conversation with basically anyone but is impossible to be dragged to the dance floor. When he laughs he tilts his head all the way back. And never, not for a second, he forgets why he is here as Tim sees him checking on the three of them every couple of minutes. Sometimes their eyes meet and Tim catches something on his teacher’s face but can’t quite figure out what it is. 

A short man in his 30s beside him puts his hand on Mr. Hammer’s chest and his gaze wavers, switches to his interlocutor and Tim is instantly annoyed. He is even more annoyed when his eyes fall on the man’s face and… Tim might not be experienced in certain things, but he knows desire when he sees it. And that man definitely  _ desires  _ Mr. Hammer. 

_ No.  _ His heart starts beating faster, harder.  _ No.  _ He knows that there’s nothing he can do about it but…  _ No. Not like that. It can’t be like that.  _

The man’s hand is still resting on Mr. Hammer’s chest and Tim wants nothing more than to break it, finger by finger. And he is not a violent person per se. 

_ He doesn’t know you. He just wants you but he doesn’t know you. And you need someone who can take care of you.  _

“Do you want to dance?” Lili appears out of nowhere right in front of him. 

“I don’t dance.” Tim can feel blood start boiling in his veins.  _ Why is she always around when she shouldn’t be. _

“Are you serious right now.” She snorts.  _ No self-preservation whatsoever.  _

“Dead serious. Leave me alone.” 

“No.” She announces angrily. 

Tim finally focuses on her. “No?”

“No.” 

“I’m just asking for one dance and you won’t even look at me. What is wrong with me? What is so horribly wrong with me that you won’t give one stupid dance?” Anger is instantly replaced by desperation and Tim can see tears hanging heavily in her eyelashes.

“Lili…”

It’s the first time he said her name without a note of annoyance but the softness hurts her even more.

“I’m sorry…”

Before the tears start streaming down her face, Lili rushes through the door, leaving Tim standing alone and hitting his head against the wall repeatedly. A minute later, his eyes return to the place they’ve been glued to recently but the two men are gone.


End file.
